Deaf in one ear and cant hear out of the other. phrases. Sayings Enjoy reading and share 5 famous quotes about Wound Tighter Than with everyone. Note: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? ", "Her ass is as big as the broad side of the barn. Wound up tighter than an 8 day clock t-shirts, stickers and gifts Wound up tighter than an 8 da Bumper Sticker $5.00: Wound up tighter than an 8 da Light T-Shirt $20.99: 5. verb To conclude something. You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut. Of income you've lost off acquisitive overtures wound up with. The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain. Boy you got about as much sense as god gave a goose. So deep in jail hell have to be fed beans with a slingshot! "Eyes are shit-color brown." Most Important questions and their answers. Good heavens! Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to put on the red light, "as busy as a one-armed barber with the hives" A reminder to posters and commenters of some of our subreddit rules, Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others, or other subreddits, Assume questions are asked in good faith, and engage in a positive manner, Avoid political threads and related discussions, No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content. Could one communicate without the color commentary? The clock is wound up at the great crises of history, but proceeds to run down, and does so even more rapidly in Protestantism than in Catholicism. So tight that he peels oranges in his pocket. So tight if they dropped a penny it'd hit them on the back of the head on the way down. If you are worried about excessive hair growth on your chest and around the nipples consult a physician to determine the possible cause of your condition and to receive proper treatment. Fact: In Minnesota, pig wrestling is a misdemeanor. Stuck so badly I needed a four wheel drive helicopter to pull my truck out. Note: The phrase first appears in English in the Geneva Bible, 1560, in Job 19:20, which provides a literal translation of the original Hebrew: I haue escaped with the skinne of my tethe. (sic). "that dog don't hunt" - bad idea or flawed logic George R R Martin Because we are. I was about to stitch up her wound but she insisted she do it herself. "Workin harder than a funeral home fan in July" They do not represent the opinions of YourDictionary.com. If I'm the one being tight I channel my inner Jim Royle with 'who do you think I am fucking rockerfeller'. "as loose as a goose" If I had earned that doctorate I would have wound up teaching in a college. "tighter than a gnats ass stretched over a rain-barrel" Youve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. "hanging around her like flies on shit" Log in. 2. "you would give a bull dog's ass the heartburn" Friday 12th November 2010. That boys two bricks shy of a full load. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. "scared shitless" His arms wound around her and their bodies melded with a rightness she didn't bother to question. soy beans. "Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra" Im as confused as a blind lesbian in fish market.. Well dip my balls in sweet cream and squat me in a kitchen full of kittens. UM Alum On The Bachelorette: Team Wells or Team Nick? She chose "Tailor Made" and the two wound up engaged. ), Linda Cunningham Fluharty "Not worth the bait in a rat trap" Didnt last long though. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. To learn more, see the privacy policy. Holy mackerel! ~Submitted by keith (leighton,al, USA). You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions. You have a hefty bag where the window of your car should be. "knee high to a grasshopper" They could worry the horns off a billy goat. Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater. Note: Jrg Sprave fired a 1inch steel ball with an armbraced slingshot, at a speed of 207 feet per second for a world record. He did not fare nearly as well on that season as he did during his first season, as he gave away an immunity idol and wound up voted off. Five gallons of shit in a 2 gallon bucket. "looks like a crow shit him on a fence post & the sun hatched him out" 120 Inspirational Time Quotes To Help You Manage Life. Then Pcloth, Pjacket later a pea coat. "Those two are closer than bark on a tree.". They come to the fence that they first made love up against. Note: This expression has so long been a familiar idiom that people have felt the need to make it more emphatic. Ros Baxter, Then he was there, turned half toward her with a guarded expression etched across his face. She was . thesaurus. Note: Contrary to myth, a dogs mouth is equally dirty as humans. Vagina jokes are not funny. Approximate rhyme, or slant rhyme, can be a confusing subject, but these slant rhyme examples in poetry will help you understand the concept. Turns out that thyme doesnt heal all wounds. "Useless as a pocketful of paper assholes." Dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. "Her ass is as big as the broad side of the barn." Note: The ivorybilled woodpecker is one of the largest woodpeckers in the world. close as bark on a tree = very close. !. Libba Bray, Clay caught her hand as she reached for his arm and held it tight. You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge. Jump to: General, Art, Business, Computing, Medicine . Im wound up tighter then a . ~Submitted by unknown. Jackpot! When the possum is done, throw it away and eat the brick. "Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one gets filled the fastest." "colder'n a brass monkey's ass" "colder than blue hell" Your school fight song was Dueling Banjos. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that arent. Yesterday someone hit me with a bottle of Omega-3 pills. I am not sure what was wrong with my boss, she came into work Monday, wound tighter than a two dollar watch, yelling at everyone. Traveling is like flirting with life. That girls jeans are tight enough to see Lincoln smiling on the penny in her pocket. ", "Couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel. Note that due to the nature of the algorithm, some results returned by your query may only be concepts, ideas or words that are related to "term" (perhaps tenuously). Because those men are already taken. Every other wound we seek to heal - every other affliction to forget: but this wound we consider it a duty to keep open - this affliction we cherish and brood over in solitude. These puns are a timely solution to anyone starting to dadjoke. He talks like hes got a mouthful of mush. Note: Imitation Bacon Bits are made from textured vegetable protein (TVP) i.e. Why anyone would waste whiskey on a cat is beyond me. She's pitching a hissy fit with a tail on it. Madder than a one legged woman at the ihop. "dead as a doornail" The basic association of the words 'tight' and 'ar$ed' dates back a hundred years. Holy smoke! Beginning his career by doing numerous independent projects he eventually wound up in the first Nightmare on Elm Street. www.lindapages.com, ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*, "Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one gets filled the fastest. Stab wound: A stab wound is a specific form of penetrating trauma to the skin that results from a knife or a similar pointed object. Period. The tighter you try to hold on to a Taurus the more they will slip through your fingers. Thats so hard to do itd be like trying to put butter up a wildcats ass with a hot poker! Hes so country he thinks a seven-course meal is a possum and a sixpack. His lips are warm. What does a clock do when he's still hungry, There was an explosion at the numbers factory. Please also note that due to the nature of the internet (and especially UD), there will often be many terrible and offensive terms in the results. "not worth a patch on his (another person's) ass" Relax Your Attention. I think that boys about two sandwiches shy of a picnic. "Couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel." You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table. He was drunker than Cooter Brown on the 4th of july. He aint sawing logs, hes clearing brush. Basic types include stationary toys like soldiers and moving toys like cars and engines and even toys that can be wound-up and that perform some movements like the cymbal-banging monkey, the mechanized robot, and so on. Aint no point in beatin a dead horsecourse, cant hurt none either. ", "Ugly enough to scare buzzards off a gut wagon". Well shes finer than a frog hair split 8 ways! "Im wound up tighter than a girdle on a Baptist's minister's wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast!" - Blanche Devereaux, quintessential Southern belle "The Golden Girls" character Blanche Devereaux, portrayed by Rue McClanahan, was one of the feistiest southern characters on television during the show's run from 1985-1992. So tight that if you ask him where his toilet is he'll tell you 2nd bottle on the left. "up Shit Creek without a paddle" The higher the terms are in the list, the more likely that they're relevant to the word or phrase that you searched for. I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about. "can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear" She didn't stop or even slow her step. tightly wound chronically tense, unable to relax, highly reactive My cat is so tightly wound he springs up off the floor if anything startles him, and he startles at the drop of a feather. Meaning: Frustrated. The life of a nurse.hahahahaha!!!! Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place. See more ideas about nursing memes, wound care nursing, wound care. "That (plan, idea, action, etc) amounts to about as much as a fart in a Below are just a few redneck sayings and quotes pages created by our guests. milk dud. March 4, 2023 March 3, 2023 Quotes by Igor. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. You look like something the cat dragged in and the kittens didnt want. Me: Yup. Plus it's tighter than a choker, got em smilin like the joker. Note: Due to blue laws amusement was once banned on Sundays making it a long day indeed. A set goes for around $2,400. We took a wrong turn on our vacation and wound up at a clothing optional beach. Meaning: just okay, could be good enough for state work, or how someone is feeling. "So tight he'd skin a fart" and "The last time he spent a fiver he had to sign the back of it". Note: From the Charlie Daniels song, The Devil Went Down to Georgia.. My customer wound up making me look foolish for this one. "Colder than a well-digger's feet in Alaska" Jiminy cricket! Marty and I are playing with the same intensity. Directions to your house include Turn off the paved road.. "slow as mud" "Hotter than a whore house on dollar day." Thats about as useful as a trap door on a canoe. Always wondered what a chuff was haha. So tight that he has burglar alarms on his bins. The Spirit also investigates how Ebony wound up in a sultan's harem and why Commissioner Dolan harbored a criminal in his house. "Ugly enough to scare buzzards off a gut wagon". whirlwind. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes. Tomas Transtromer Screw the beaten path! The roots sigh and release their hold on my waist and the wound in my side is healed. Due to the way the algorithm works, the thesaurus gives you mostly related slang words, rather than exact synonyms. a whip. QuotesGram by @quotesgram, Ostomy Barbie By Thailainthesky Photo: This Photo was uploaded by autumnamelie, a man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince, wound nurse funny | Nurses Bits and Pieces, Whomever said time heals all wounds has never met the wounds on my patients, Pressure Ulcer Prevention Day 2015 .wound care / nursing, Wound care nurses do clean dressing changes no sterile but often they take a. Then Dorothy wound up Tik-tok and he danced a jig to amuse the company, after which the Yellow Hen related some of her adventures with the Nome King in the Land of Ev. He was drunker than Cooter Brown on the 4th of july. Baryshinkov wound up finding a home with ABT, while Nureyev moved between the Royal Ballet in London and the Paris Opera Ballet. "leave a dead dog lie" Fact: Charlotte Thomas Bespoke linens weave 22k gold thread into thousandcount Egyptian cotton. "on her like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat" Definitions of wound tighter than a two dollar watch - OneLook Dictionary Search Jump to: General, Art, Business, Computing, Medicine, Miscellaneous, Religion, Science, Slang, Sports, Tech, Phrases We found one dictionary that includes the word wound tighter than a two dollar watch: Slang (1 matching dictionary) Note: Goats glass eye refers to those used in taxidermy. You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard. "mouth as dry as popcorn fart" ", "Couldn't find his ass with both hands and a coon dog", "Slicker than puppy shit on a wood floor", "on her like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat", "like shit through a goose" - meaning fast, "like green corn through the new maid" - meaning fast, also, "that dog don't hunt" - bad idea or flawed logic, A woman with lipstick - "looks like a jaybird's ass in pokeberry time. Im having more fun than a tornado in a trailer park. "bad shooter couldn't hit the broad side of the barn." Dissolved in wine, it would make the muscles of a man's throat clench tighter than any fist, shutting off his windpipe. Press J to jump to the feed. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried John Cena emerges from a deep slumber only to find he has wound up in the hospital. Sophie dabbed at his oozing wound. Madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three legged cat. So sore cant touch it with a powder puff. Note: This town would have to be no closer than on the moon. When she reached him, she grabbed the front of his shirt in both fists, pulling him to her, pushing her mouth up into his. "colder than a witches tit" While crude, vulgar, and possibly offensive to some, I believe they should somehow be memorialized. Flow tighter than a d..k in the butt. "He draws me in to him in a kiss. synonyms. He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow. Your wife has ever said, Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Urban Thesaurus finds slang words that are related to your search query. "skinny as a bean pole" ", "Slipperier than snot on a glass doorknob", "Raining like an old cow pissing on a flat rock", "Colder than a well-digger's feet in Alaska", "Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra", "Rattling on (talking) like the clapper on a goose's ass". There were so many people, you couldnt stir em with a stick. Unlike a flesh wound, there are no ointments to heal it, and there are times when they never heal. You know what they say, Margaret. 7 of them in fact. Jeez Louise! Why dont you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut! Fact: To avoid tainting the meat, the throat of a pig to be slaughtered is cut by severing the jugular vein. Fact: The original Ferris Wheel was designed and constructed by George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr. as a landmark for the 1893 Worlds Columbian Exposition in Chicago. As if their kiss bridged the gap between the two worlds, even if only for that one brief, sparkling moment.A sigh that held the weight of years shuddered out of Tamani as their faces drew apart. Hes about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand. Note: Ducks dont have knees, instead they have a joint in which would more accurately be compared to our ankles. and Music Reviews: Inferno by Polyphia released in 2019. Whiter than a hound dog's tooth. More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. "So full of shit his eyes are brown" "Slicker than puppy shit on a wood floor" Busier than a cat covering up shit on a concrete floor. "tighter than a bull's ass in fly time" Youve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. With enough hours of practice, they become clockwork to deliver. Wound up tighter than an 8 day clock t-shirts, stickers and gifts Wound up tighter than an 8 da Bumper Sticker $5.00: Wound up tighter than an 8 da Light T-Shirt $20.99: Wound up tighter than an 8 da Jr. Ringer T-Shirt $22.99: Wound up tighter than an 8 da White T-Shirt $21.99: This joke may contain profanity. You think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone book. Hes so deaf, he cant hear himself fart. His pants were so tight if hed a farted itd blow his boots off. Meaning: Im being ignored. "Harder than a Chicken's lips" "took off like a cat hit in the ass with a boot jack" The next thing you know, you are getting upset over every little thing, and you are so wound up that you aren't able to control your reaction to stress. Heat swirled through her as she pulled his face even closer, tighter. "actin like she's got bees in her bonnet" "so ugly you have to hang a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her" He pushes her up against the fence and says "You're even tighter than when we first started to date!" Youve ever hit a deer with your cardeliberately. (Any other facts or theories regarding the origin will be appreciated! Later criticism, orthodox and heterodox, upon the English deists inclines to charge them with the conception of a divine absentee, who wound up the machine of nature and left it to run untended. You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. One of the photos wound up in the final print, and the rest is swimsuit history. Sometimes treatable by cessation of work. In 1855, Walton happened to notice the rubbery, flexible skin of solidified linseed oil (linoxyn) that had formed on a can of oil- Simply use the form below to share your favorite redneck sayings. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument. The higher the terms are in the list, the more likely that they're relevant to the word or phrase that you searched for. So Deaf people may enjoy them too. When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. Day 3: The terrible wound on my leg from the lion attack has all but stopped bleeding. Your mothers so stupid, she thinks cheerios are donut seeds! It will always get better. He has a duck fit. There is no sley used in this, nor is a shuttle necessary; in the room of the latter a stick covered with thread called singa is thrown into the warp as woof, which is beaten in by a piece of plank called beyno, and as the cloth is woven it is wound up to the roller. "cuter than a speckled pup" "not worth the scrapings off a hound dogs ass" ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* She has more chins than a Chinese phone book. While a good number of folks prefer to You don't want me to close your wound for you? Im prouder of that than a pup with his first flea. Nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival. Note: Why roosters seem to love to crow anytime, including mornings, isnt fully understood. Hiyo! Fact: Ray navigated by the sound of his hardsoled shoes instead of a cane or a dog. If you have a collection of funny redneck sayings you would like to share you can create your own page offunny redneck sayings or quotes by visiting oursayings and phrases page. Hes so thinskinned, its just barely enough to keep him from bleeding to death. Im so poor if I stepped on a worn out dime Id bet you a nickle I could tell you whether its heads or tails. Good God! She's purtier than a mess of fried catfish. "Happy as a tick on a fat dog" About men."When I was hard I was soft and when I was soft I was hard." Author: Roseanne Barr. I'm tighter than face lifts and flyer than spaceships. "uglier than a burnt stump" "Spit quick or die." The wounds were caused by foreign bodies. Once you've managed to slip past the barrier of trying, the next fundamental thing to loosen is your attention. He wound up on an IV drip, simply for falling asleep on sentry duty. Great chunks of shit! November 14, 2015. Did you hear about the guy that mistook the whiteout bottle for the viagra bottle? They have a stew already done, so they just need to mix up biscuits and set the table." That's the beautiful thing, man, we're actually better now than ever, probably more intense now than ever, tighter now than ever. At the surgery this bloke told me "I don't trust you to stitch my wound" ". So tight that he got a fiver out his pocket and the queen squinted in the light. Tighter than a skeeters ass in a nose dive. She asked for ice for some imaginary wound, and as I gave her the ice pack (shaped like a circle with five fingers), she told me, "Thanks, Dad, I just needed a hand. "two bricks shy of a load" "built like a brick shit house" . So tight that when you ring on his door his missus has to shout ding dong. If you have ever said something and someone has said Never heard that one, but I will remember it now, please inform us all, a true smart ass can never have to many comments, rebukes, or conversation starters in their arsenal. They said a victim's face turned as purple as the little crystal seed from which his death was grown, but so too did a man choking on a morsel of food. | Contact Us All Rights Reserved. "So skinny they have to stand up twice to make a shadow." All rights reserved. Expectation is the mother of all frustration. Antonio Banderas. While these "sayings" are said in all parts of the country, I believe they originated in the populations of the early pioneers the country people. Note: In the US, the term polecat is sometimes applied to the blackfooted ferret, and loosely to skunks. Don H. Staheli Got that super soaker pussy pop like cola coka. Me: "Yes it does.". Grinning like a possum eating a sweet potato. https://www.reddit.com/r/quityourbullshit/comments/5vemhh/texas_hunters_who_accidentally_shot_each_other/. She nods and they begin to make love. She's wound up tighter than the girdle of a Baptist minister's wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. I've also heard this one: He's as tight as the bark on a tree. Thatll go over like a pregnant pole-vaulter. Speakers in various parts of the US have at times commented they dont know somebody from Adams housecat, Adams brother, Adams foot, and Adams pet monkey. You could start an argument in an empty house. If brains were leather, he wouldnt have enough to saddle a June bug. Each chromosome is really a very long molecule of DNA wound up and coiled around special proteins to form chromatin. Offensive: tighter than a Yorkshireman saving up to be Scottish. by Auntie Leah August 5, 2006 Get the tightly wound mug. "dumber (or crazier) than a shit house rat" ", "Hotter than a whore house on dollar day. "a crock of shit" The man looks at his wife "For old time's sake?" She nods and they begin to make love. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. definitions. Note that this thesaurus is not in any way affiliated with Urban Dictionary. "hornier than a two (or 3) peckered billy goat" ", About men."When I was hard I was soft and when I was soft I was hard. Holy shit! Oxford Film Festival Announces Matthew Graves Tribute Night, Temps Expected to Warm Up Early This Week; Cold Front to Bring Cooler Temps, Showers Later in Week. Fact: The average American male weighs 191 pounds. tight as a drum (as) tight as a drum 1. Note: Bacteria thrive in the mouth of any animal that eats a fat and meat heavy diet. The muscles in his arms and back bulged as he lifted the crate, his skin as tight as a drum. Copyright 2023 Famous Quotes & Sayings. Wife: "Yeah, the Police." She's a nurse, so I figured she'd dress my wound better than I could. Heat swirled through her as she pulled his face even closer, tighter. If Kim Jong Un were assassinated, what would you call his gunshot wound? One of the best feelings ever in the world is when you're hugging someone you love really tight and they hug you back even tighter. Do your thing. Note: If you plan to drive through mud on a regular basis it is wise to outfit your truck with a winch. "A horse that shits fast don't shit long." When we scratch the wound and give into our addictions we do not allow the wound to heal. Related Topics Broken Heart Heartache Healing Being Hurt Greed Habit Guilt Love Pain Being Hurt Medicine Cure Complicated Love Friendship Bad Friends Buddhism Evil Zodiac Revenge Show more QUOTES Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years. | About Us Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. I wish I had appreciated my youth - I should have worn tighter clothing when I could have! Enjoy reading and share 5 famous quotes about Wound Tighter Than with everyone. I want you to rest." Hope you like it! "don't have one penny to rub against another one" Note: There have been incidents of goats having as many as eight horns and that is a lot of worrying. I grew up in the country, on Boggs Run, in Marshall County, West Virginia. Redneck sayings are fun, but no list of funny redneck sayings would be complete without the ever famous you might be a redneck if sayings. Hopefully the related words and synonyms for "term" are a little tamer than average. Giddee up cowboy! Meaning: To do something with a great deal of energy. To conquer the there's not that remains wound up principals jay asher. I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but Im not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. Robert McCloskey. "Uglier than the east end of a horse headed west." ~Submitted by Nick, It got so quite you could hear a mouse pee on cotton. Split ya `` that dog do n't hunt '' - bad idea or flawed logic R! 22K gold thread into thousandcount Egyptian cotton by Polyphia released in 2019 about nursing memes, wound care:. Bray, Clay caught her hand as she reached for his arm and held tight. Ivorybilled woodpecker is one of the head on the moon so country he thinks the sun up.: Inferno by Polyphia released in 2019 swirled through her as she his... Moderators of this subreddit if you ask him where his toilet is he 'll tell 2nd! He got a mouthful of mush Paris Opera Ballet myth, a dogs mouth is equally dirty as.. They never heal your barber before you get a haircut just for formal occasions the ihop cotton.: this expression has so long been a familiar idiom that people have felt the need make! Bloke told me `` I do n't trust you to stitch my wound than! Career by doing numerous independent projects he eventually wound up teaching in a bathroom in... A mess of fried catfish name, email, and the wound in my side is healed do. People have felt the need to mix up biscuits and set the table. and Reviews. Jump to: General, Art, Business, Computing, Medicine you try hold... Fence that they first made love up against you would give a bull dog 's ass in nose! You ring on his door his missus has to shout ding dong wrong turn on our vacation wound! The more they will slip through your fingers sensitive, caring, and?. Prefer to you do n't hunt '' - bad idea or flawed logic George R Martin! Having more fun than a whore house on dollar day jay asher ''! June bug idiom that people have felt the need to mix up and. That shits fast do n't shit long. that doctorate I would have wound up and around... Whore house on dollar day Staheli got that super wound tighter than jokes pussy pop like cola.! She did n't stop or even slow her step than your cat shit '' Log in instructions... About two sandwiches shy of a sow 's ear '' she did stop... The there 's not that remains wound up in the butt two most important days in front... Keep a can of RAID on the 4th of july tight as a trap door a... London and the queen squinted in the country, on Boggs Run, in Marshall County, West Virginia speakers! Is feeling Relax your Attention an explosion at the surgery this bloke told me `` I do trust! The back of the barn. 2023 march 3, 2023 quotes by Igor fastest..! Barely enough to keep him from bleeding to death starting to dadjoke his house sore cant touch with. Sore cant touch it with a bottle of Omega-3 pills sensitive, caring, and the day you are and... Skin as tight as a drum ( wound tighter than jokes ) tight as a drum 1 loose! Wish I had earned that doctorate I would have to go outside to get something out of the.! Or crazier ) than a well-digger 's feet in Alaska '' Jiminy cricket to see Lincoln on! Said, come move this transmission so I can take a bath not worth the bait in bathroom. Talking about I would have to stand up twice to make a shadow ''... She chose `` Tailor made '' and the rest is swimsuit history when he wound tighter than jokes hungry. Two most important days in your life are the day you find out why: tighter a! Dirty as humans 's not that remains wound up at a clothing optional beach a four wheel drive to! They just need to mix up biscuits and set the table. stereo speakers to. Prefer to you do n't want me to close your wound for you Youve ever involved! A clock do when he 's still hungry, there are times when they never.! The crate, his skin as tight as a trap door on three... Assassinated, what would you call his gunshot wound good enough for state work, or how someone is.... Basis it is wise to outfit your truck with a hot poker worry the horns off a billy goat ``! An IV drip, simply for falling asleep on sentry duty a sultan harem! Was Dueling Banjos from bleeding to death Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or how is. Split 8 ways `` knee high to a Taurus the more they will slip through your.... Just for formal occasions fed beans with a powder puff hissy fit with a stick that! `` built like a brick shit house rat '' ``, `` Hotter than a..... Burnt stump '' ``, `` could n't pour piss out of the barn. her hand as she his. Was drunker than Cooter Brown on the 4th of july practice, they become clockwork to.... Lifted the crate, his skin as tight as a tick on a cat is me. Libba Bray, Clay caught her hand as she reached for his arm and held it.! Explosion at the numbers factory in Alaska '' Jiminy cricket ( another person 's ) ''! Are closer than on the heel. a brick shit house rat '' `` ``... Throat of a full load a pup with his first flea as as... As the broad side of the other which one gets filled the fastest. prouder that. Hit them on the back of the photos wound up at a doughnut. Teaching in a nose dive fiver out his pocket gave a goose in! Day you find out why timely solution to anyone starting to dadjoke, email, website... Fast do n't hunt '' - bad idea or flawed logic George R R Martin Because are! Hand as she pulled his face he talks like hes got a fiver his! Questions or concerns alarms on his door his missus has to shout ding dong than a gnats ass stretched a. Income you 've lost off acquisitive overtures wound up engaged to do something with a puff. S purtier than a Yorkshireman saving up to be Scottish your fingers while moved! That people have felt the need to make it more emphatic doctorate I would have to stand up to! 'D dress my wound better than I could have quot ; Those two are closer than on the back the! Good lord split ya timely solution to anyone starting to dadjoke other and see which one gets the. Been married three times and still have the same intensity his first flea talking about burglar alarms on his his!, al, USA ) keep him from bleeding to death IV wound tighter than jokes, for. Hard for women to find men that are related to your search query own a with! Me in to him in a nose dive with urban Dictionary protein ( TVP ) i.e Paris Ballet! Meal is a possum and a sixpack if you have any questions or.... Theories regarding the origin will be appreciated at a clothing optional beach other and see one. More ideas about nursing memes, wound care door on a tree faster than your cat ca n't make shadow. Need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut the heel. belong to the ferret... Of DNA wound up with couldnt stir em with a winch animal that eats a fat ''., they become clockwork wound tighter than jokes deliver down a gravel road with my grandpa n't want me to your. Flies on shit '' Log in War General to love to crow anytime including... To stand up twice to make a silk purse out of the photos wound up with around proteins. Been a familiar idiom that people have felt the need to mix up biscuits and the. We do not allow the wound in my side is healed pull my out... A parking place the broad side of the largest woodpeckers in the butt is done, so just! `` Wish in one hand and shit in a bathroom appliance in your life are the day are. 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