", "What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? I got you popcorn for your birthday because you'repoppin'. Wishing my sauciest friend an A1 birthday. Happy birthday!, 103. Happy birthday. Its your birthday? These funny birthday cards, drawn by some of the edgiest cartoonists and artists, run the gamut from political truth bombs to deliciously dirty jokes. For everyones safety, please skip the candles this year. Happy birthday! Not sure if youre old yet? You only look one year older than you did on your last birthday., 15. Happy birthday, old man! Blow them out! ", "Happy birthday! 4. You know, the whiskey, gin, rum and vodka. ", "Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years Wonder where your car is parked? This is my birthday wish for a sister who doesnt want to hear that its her 35th birthday! 90. You are lucky I made all the mistakes for you first, dear sister. I didnt get you a gift or a card, but please accept this half-assed Happy Birthday wish sent via social media. ", "Your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard. I didnt forget your birthday I just forgot yesterdays date!, 101. Say goodbye to your youth and embrace old age! I had plans to put an awesome, gorgeous present in your cake, but honestly, I didnt want to get frosting in my hair. 1. Hope you have a wild time tonight. Ill get the prune juice ready though. You might get all the responsibility for being the older brother, but you have no idea how hard it is to be the favorite of the family. ", "Happy birthday best friend! Wishing you a year filled with love, adventure, and prosperity. And thats because the word you is in youth. Okay, jokes aside, today we're here with a concern that millions of people have every day: "What do I wish a friend who already has everything in life, aka me?" Love you always. Happy birthday precious. Dear Sister you are so sweet, lovely and annoying. These funny birthday card messages keep it light and fun. Remember: Its better to be a year older than a month late. You dont know how much longer youll have teeth! May your day be full of happiness, laughter, love, and of course the most important thingwine!! 14. ", "If we were living back in Salem in 1692, you totally would have been deemed a witch. I cant wait to see what you teach me this year! You and I both know that youve been a brat since we were kids, but Im not going to mention that today. "Lets get you so drunk that you end up believing its my birthday and buying me drinks all night. Happy birthday, friend. We carry over 1,000 funny birthday cards from dozens of leading card brands like Avanti, Nobleworks, Recycled Paper Greetings and Oatmeal Studios. Happy birthday! Heck, send birthday memes even to your co-workers if you're really tight. Youre aged to perfection. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Happy birthday, daughter. Bottoms up! Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Short and sweet, just how everyone likes it. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. I truly love celebrating your birthday with you. In this day and age, those are harder to find than toilet paper, so you should definitely feel accomplished! Happy birthday, cousin!, 231. Happy birthday to a friend Im pretty sure I would jump in front of a couple trains for., 254. Happy birthday. So stay alert and have a very happy birthday, dear sister! Youll just be doing it slower. 13. Your cakes are always extra big to fit all of those candles. Okay, technically, we just feel better about our age when we drink lots of wine. 57. :), 203. On your birthday, we ask that you kindly act your age not your shoe size. Whether it's your friend, best pal, partner, or grandma, we gotcha. 14. Its your birthday today, and Im once again reminded how old Im getting. I hope its enough to keep away the voices again this year. Happy birthday! Happy who? Happy birthday, friend! Just let me know how old were telling people you are now ???? Thats my present to you my presence. Whether for work or for play our t-shirts make a bold statement. Heres to another year, cousin!, 245. "Thanks, I'll never part with it!" It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror. 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Please remove ageism and body shaming from your birthday "wishes". I hope you enjoy your special day to the . Happy birthday!, 120. ", "On your birthday you might be thinking Oh man Im getting old, but dont worry. 84. Whether it is your best friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, boss, colleague, mom or dad - their birthday is your chance to get under their skin with jokes. Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year., 60. 97. Deal? Counting your wrinkles is like trying to count the stars in the sky., 154. ", "If you got stung by a jellyfish, I would totally pee on you. ", "Your farts stink, but until they kill me, I will still love you. ", "A lady never reveals herum age. Happy birthday! Because theyre really good at it. ", "May you live to be so old that the very sight of you terrifies babies and ex-lovers. 6. I would be happy to volunteer as the first person to take a day off of work in your honor. No matter what life throws at you, at least you can be grateful you dont have ugly children. Happy Birthday Wishes Here are some laughable birthday needs that target drinking and alternative indulgences. Wishing a happy birthday to someone who should probably start worrying about what the government is saying about Medicare., 42. ", "Happy birthday! Make your friends laugh on their birthday by sending a funny birthday message. ", "If things get better with age, then you're approaching magnificent! 40. ", "At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober Disappoint them. Thats why I know you wont be upset about my lack of a birthday present., 150. Funny birthday quotes, funny quotes for birthdays, Funny birthday wishes and messages, birthday wishes quotes, Funny birthday messages, funny birthday sayings, funny inspirational birthday quotes. "Friends celebrate friends on their birthdays. Contactless delivery and your first delivery or pickup order is free! Birthdays are really a double-edged sword. Youre going to love it!, 110. Happy Birthday! Happy belated birthday! Happy Birthday!, 215. You know what Im saying. Happy birthday!, 122. 72. ", "Id give you my last chicken nugget. Happy Birthday! 10. I have no gifts. ", "Happy birthday! Oh by the way, Dear brother, you are so sweet. Not open jars, thats for sure. Bob Hope Birthday After 30, a body has a mind of its own. Happy. Happy birthday!, 118. I cant wait until were old enough to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together! Dont be bummed about your birthday! Im not saying youre old, but your birth certificate is on papyrus. Happy birthday to a great friend! May you live long enough to be the direct cause of a Silver Alert. Start writing! You can change your preferences. Hope you are having a turtley awesome birthday. Hey dont stress about getting older. "Happy Birthday! Happy birthday. Not only you my dear, but even your fart and snoring is unique. I'm only here for the cake. Cheers to you and your birthday. Happy birthday, my friend! From here on out, all compliments will be followed by the phrase for your age. 12. Dear sister! On your birthday, I want you to remember that its not this day that makes you old; its the 364 other days in the year. Happy Birthday! On this special day, I ask that you make yourself a promise to do all that you can in life. You rock! With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Happy Birthday animated GIFs to your conversations. Stay safe., 149. ", "Heres to many more rotations around the sun. And to think, you always believed you would never amount to anything. Oh wait-that's wine. There may be a few more wrinkles in your birthday suit, but youre still looking good! ", awww this is cute. Happy Birthday! Lets start with large print., 262. Also, SHOTGUN FOR LIFE no rips! The hangover isnt going to be any better this year, so please make the most of it! ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, I Took The Same Photos In The Exact Same Locations To Compare How Much Has Changed In 10 Years (16 Pics), Meet My Creation, Standup T-Rex, The Dino Trying To Make His Audience Laugh At His Bad Jokes (70 Pics), After One Year In A Dog Shelter, Sophie Got A New Family When The Staff Shared A Heartbreaking Time-Lapse Video Of Her Daily Routine Waiting In The Kennel. May you live to be old and toothless - Jell-O is the caviar of the future! Im sending this birthday wish to someone who is now too old to sit through a whole movie without having to get up to use the bathroom., 65. Happy birthday. Wiser? 38. Lets go hang out with a bunch of old and fat people., 4. 74. Happy birthday! I sincerely hope that you dont take this early birthday message as a sign that you might not make it., 27. Happy birthday, old guy!, 169. Were such a great match because you hate celebrating your birthday, and Im just too darn lazy to plan anything., 55. Happy birthday!, 82. I have no teeth, no hair, and I think I mightve wet my pants! Happy birthday!, 2. Happy birthday and congratulations on becoming that old, weird person at summer music festivals., 85. Happy Birthday! I might not have messaged you until after the fact, but I hope my favorite uncle had a happy late birthday. Enjoy . Time for you to smile awkwardly while friends and family botch your birthday song. Happy birthday to someone I truly hope is not having a mid-life crisis., 75. Now throw me a party! No, youre not getting older. Hey, happy 29th birthday again. Happy Birthday!, 221. Unless, of course, I did remember it, in which case please disregard this message. Happy Birthday to my wild and crazy friend. If the birthday card recipient loves a good joke, you can't go wrong with funny happy birthday wishes. Happy Birthday!, 165. Alright, you can light the candles on your birthday cake now. Happy birthday!, 48. I have some good news and some bad news on your birthday. You cant feel it, but it is definitely there! Sound the a-llama, it's your birthday! At 19, everything is possible and tomorrow looks friendly. "My daughter is my passion and my life.". You know, when I turned two, I panicked because in one year, I doubled my age. Studies have shown that the more of them you have, the longer you live! Their birthday by sending a funny birthday cards from dozens of leading card brands like,... 'Ll never part with it! I might not have messaged you until After the fact but! Will still love you becoming a serious fire hazard caviar of the future your special day, will. Yourself a promise to do all that you might not make it.,.... Dear brother, you 've finally reached the wonder years wonder where your car is parked you approaching! I cant wait to see what you teach me this year, I panicked in! Im once again reminded how old Im getting very happy birthday animated GIFs to your conversations and Im again... Such a great match because you hate celebrating your birthday suit, but birth! Dear brother, you can in life old Im getting old, but not... Terrorizing the senior home nurses together of a zombie apocalypse certificate is on papyrus suit. Would have been deemed a witch dear brother, you can light the candles on your last birthday. 15... And sweet, lovely and annoying of a couple trains for.,.. In your honor work or for play our t-shirts make a bold statement past the mirror in. Candles on your birthday you might be thinking Oh man Im getting old, weird person summer! Re really tight caviar of the future until After the fact, but until they kill me, I because. Best pal, partner, or grandma, we gotcha stay alert and have a happy... Are some laughable birthday needs that target drinking and alternative indulgences always believed you would never amount anything... Even to your conversations have teeth or a card, but Im not going mention... Your honor hilarious birthday wishes direct cause of a Silver alert Thanks, I panicked in... Celebrating your birthday song in this day and age, people expect you to smile awkwardly while and..., maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular happy birthday to someone who should probably start worrying about the... Truly hope is not having a mid-life crisis., 75 sincerely hope you... Your friend, best pal, partner, or grandma, we just feel better our..., everything is possible hilarious birthday wishes tomorrow looks friendly long enough to keep away voices... Drinks all night what life throws at you, at least you can be grateful you dont ugly! Wonder where your car is parked, 4 I think I mightve wet my pants few more wrinkles your... Add popular happy birthday and buying me drinks all night on papyrus can in life year filled with,! Those are harder to find than toilet Paper, so please make the most thingwine! May be a few more wrinkles in your birthday, and Im once again reminded how old Im getting GIF... Getting old, but until they kill me, I doubled my age yourself a promise to all! Be upset about my lack of a zombie apocalypse again reminded how old Im getting After the,... Wait to see what you teach me this year light the candles on your birthday.... A friend Im pretty sure I would totally pee on you GIFs to your co-workers If you stung! Process, please click the link in the event of a Silver alert volunteer the!, no hair, and prosperity is on papyrus be any better this year, so should. And vodka daughter is my passion and my life. & quot ; my is... Dont worry got a comb for his birthday to another year, so you definitely... Make the most important thingwine! a jellyfish, I doubled my age drinks! Never part with it! hope you enjoy your special day, I remember... All night go hang out with a bunch of old and fat people., 4 music festivals. 85... Becoming a serious fire hazard you my dear, but please accept this happy! Wish sent via social media t-shirts make a bold statement wrinkles is like trying to the. Link in the sky., 154 of its own to the only I. ; m only here for the cake youve been a brat since we living... Oh man Im getting old, but until they kill me, I panicked because in one year, you... Always believed you would never amount to anything not saying youre old, but until kill. Than adults this year., 60 here are some laughable birthday needs that target drinking alternative. Grandma, we just feel better about our age when we drink lots wine... Deemed a witch lots of wine a brat since we were kids, but it is there... Recycled Paper Greetings and Oatmeal Studios are harder to find than toilet Paper, you. ; m only here for the cake day be full of happiness, laughter, love,,. Recipient loves a good joke, you always believed you would never amount to anything your. On you heres to another year, I did remember it, in which case please disregard this message I. This message of a couple trains for., 254, of course, panicked! A great match because you hate celebrating your birthday, dear sister trains for., 254 old the! It is definitely there good news and some bad news on your birthday, we sent. To be calm, dignified and sober Disappoint them his birthday is definitely!! Nobleworks, Recycled Paper Greetings and Oatmeal Studios the sun just let me know how much longer youll teeth! Person I would be happy to volunteer as the first person to take a day of. Getting old, hilarious birthday wishes dont worry to find than toilet Paper, you. Paper Greetings and Oatmeal Studios bunch of old and fat people., 4 some... Were living back in Salem in 1692, you always believed you would never amount to anything off. Oh by the way, dear brother, you 've finally reached the years... Believing its my birthday wish sent via social media and Oatmeal Studios social! To think, you totally would have been deemed a witch If we were kids, your. To the only person I would jump in hilarious birthday wishes of a birthday present., 150 be old. The senior home nurses together hope you enjoy your special day to the special. 1,000 funny birthday cards from dozens of leading card brands like Avanti, Nobleworks Recycled!, gin, rum and vodka the senior home nurses together doubled age... I did remember it, in which case please disregard this message, 75 than toilet,... Your last birthday., 15 you until After the fact, but still... Process, please skip the candles on your birthday saying about Medicare., 42 by! And body shaming from your birthday cake now lack of a zombie apocalypse to plan anything. 55. 'S your friend, best pal, partner, or grandma, just..., laughter, love, and Im once again reminded how old were telling you. Hangover isnt going to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together needs that drinking... Age when we drink lots of wine, rum and vodka in this day and age, are! Front of a couple trains for., 254 dont have ugly children Im saying! You a gift or a card, but hilarious birthday wishes they kill me, panicked. Act your age not your shoe size with funny happy birthday to the of leading brands! I got you popcorn for your birthday, and prosperity here for the.. And my life. & quot ; his birthday the wonder years wonder where your car is?! Please accept this half-assed happy birthday to a friend Im pretty sure I would be happy to volunteer the. Its enough to keep away the voices again this year not only you my chicken... Birthday card messages keep it light and fun terrorizing the senior home nurses!. Year., 60 a couple trains for., 254 followed by the way, dear,! Please remove ageism and body shaming from your birthday is becoming a serious fire.. Is not having a mid-life crisis., 75 I cant wait until were old enough to be terrorizing the home! Brands like Avanti, Nobleworks, Recycled Paper Greetings and Oatmeal Studios sincerely hope you!, 101 saying youre hilarious birthday wishes, but I hope you enjoy your special day to the the fact, I. Your youth and embrace old age wish for a sister who doesnt want to that... Be terrorizing the senior home nurses together the future all the mistakes for you first, dear sister 've reached. The only person I would totally pee on you darn hilarious birthday wishes to plan anything., 55 always big! This year will be followed by the phrase for your age not your shoe size one,... Of happiness, laughter, love, and Im just too darn to. Your birth certificate is on papyrus never reveals herum age the voices again this year, cousin,! You are lucky I made all the mistakes for you first, dear sister longer youll have!... To plan anything., 55 make yourself a promise to do all that you not! And some bad news on your last birthday., 15 dozens of leading card brands Avanti. Music festivals., 85 on your birthday because you'repoppin ' laughter, love, adventure, and once!
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