", "What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? I got you popcorn for your birthday because you'repoppin'. Wishing my sauciest friend an A1 birthday. Happy birthday!, 103. Happy birthday. Its your birthday? These funny birthday cards, drawn by some of the edgiest cartoonists and artists, run the gamut from political truth bombs to deliciously dirty jokes. For everyones safety, please skip the candles this year. Happy birthday! Not sure if youre old yet? You only look one year older than you did on your last birthday., 15. Happy birthday, old man! Blow them out! ", "Happy birthday! 4. You know, the whiskey, gin, rum and vodka. ", "Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years Wonder where your car is parked? This is my birthday wish for a sister who doesnt want to hear that its her 35th birthday! 90. You are lucky I made all the mistakes for you first, dear sister. I didnt get you a gift or a card, but please accept this half-assed Happy Birthday wish sent via social media. ", "Your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard. I didnt forget your birthday I just forgot yesterdays date!, 101. Say goodbye to your youth and embrace old age! I had plans to put an awesome, gorgeous present in your cake, but honestly, I didnt want to get frosting in my hair. 1. Hope you have a wild time tonight. Ill get the prune juice ready though. You might get all the responsibility for being the older brother, but you have no idea how hard it is to be the favorite of the family. ", "Happy birthday best friend! Wishing you a year filled with love, adventure, and prosperity. And thats because the word you is in youth. Okay, jokes aside, today we're here with a concern that millions of people have every day: "What do I wish a friend who already has everything in life, aka me?" Love you always. Happy birthday precious. Dear Sister you are so sweet, lovely and annoying. These funny birthday card messages keep it light and fun. Remember: Its better to be a year older than a month late. You dont know how much longer youll have teeth! May your day be full of happiness, laughter, love, and of course the most important thingwine!! 14. ", "If we were living back in Salem in 1692, you totally would have been deemed a witch. I cant wait to see what you teach me this year! You and I both know that youve been a brat since we were kids, but Im not going to mention that today. "Lets get you so drunk that you end up believing its my birthday and buying me drinks all night. Happy birthday, friend. We carry over 1,000 funny birthday cards from dozens of leading card brands like Avanti, Nobleworks, Recycled Paper Greetings and Oatmeal Studios. Happy birthday! Heck, send birthday memes even to your co-workers if you're really tight. Youre aged to perfection. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Happy birthday, daughter. Bottoms up! Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Short and sweet, just how everyone likes it. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. I truly love celebrating your birthday with you. In this day and age, those are harder to find than toilet paper, so you should definitely feel accomplished! Happy birthday, cousin!, 231. Happy birthday to a friend Im pretty sure I would jump in front of a couple trains for., 254. Happy birthday. So stay alert and have a very happy birthday, dear sister! Youll just be doing it slower. 13. Your cakes are always extra big to fit all of those candles. Okay, technically, we just feel better about our age when we drink lots of wine. 57. :), 203. On your birthday, we ask that you kindly act your age not your shoe size. Whether it's your friend, best pal, partner, or grandma, we gotcha. 14. Its your birthday today, and Im once again reminded how old Im getting. I hope its enough to keep away the voices again this year. Happy birthday! Happy who? Happy birthday, friend! Just let me know how old were telling people you are now ???? Thats my present to you my presence. Whether for work or for play our t-shirts make a bold statement. Heres to another year, cousin!, 245. "Thanks, I'll never part with it!" It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror. 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Please remove ageism and body shaming from your birthday "wishes". I hope you enjoy your special day to the . Happy birthday!, 120. ", "On your birthday you might be thinking Oh man Im getting old, but dont worry. 84. Whether it is your best friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, boss, colleague, mom or dad - their birthday is your chance to get under their skin with jokes. Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year., 60. 97. Deal? Counting your wrinkles is like trying to count the stars in the sky., 154. ", "If you got stung by a jellyfish, I would totally pee on you. ", "Your farts stink, but until they kill me, I will still love you. ", "A lady never reveals herum age. Happy birthday! Because theyre really good at it. ", "May you live to be so old that the very sight of you terrifies babies and ex-lovers. 6. I would be happy to volunteer as the first person to take a day off of work in your honor. No matter what life throws at you, at least you can be grateful you dont have ugly children. Happy Birthday Wishes Here are some laughable birthday needs that target drinking and alternative indulgences. Wishing a happy birthday to someone who should probably start worrying about what the government is saying about Medicare., 42. ", "Happy birthday! Make your friends laugh on their birthday by sending a funny birthday message. ", "If things get better with age, then you're approaching magnificent! 40. ", "At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober Disappoint them. Thats why I know you wont be upset about my lack of a birthday present., 150. Funny birthday quotes, funny quotes for birthdays, Funny birthday wishes and messages, birthday wishes quotes, Funny birthday messages, funny birthday sayings, funny inspirational birthday quotes. "Friends celebrate friends on their birthdays. Contactless delivery and your first delivery or pickup order is free! Birthdays are really a double-edged sword. Youre going to love it!, 110. Happy Birthday! Happy belated birthday! Happy Birthday!, 215. You know what Im saying. Happy birthday!, 122. 72. ", "Id give you my last chicken nugget. Happy Birthday! 10. I have no gifts. ", "Happy birthday! Oh by the way, Dear brother, you are so sweet. Not open jars, thats for sure. Bob Hope Birthday After 30, a body has a mind of its own. Happy. Happy birthday!, 118. I cant wait until were old enough to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together! Dont be bummed about your birthday! Im not saying youre old, but your birth certificate is on papyrus. Happy birthday to a great friend! May you live long enough to be the direct cause of a Silver Alert. Start writing! You can change your preferences. Hope you are having a turtley awesome birthday. Hey dont stress about getting older. "Happy Birthday! Happy birthday. Not only you my dear, but even your fart and snoring is unique. I'm only here for the cake. Cheers to you and your birthday. Happy birthday, my friend! From here on out, all compliments will be followed by the phrase for your age. 12. Dear sister! On your birthday, I want you to remember that its not this day that makes you old; its the 364 other days in the year. Happy Birthday! On this special day, I ask that you make yourself a promise to do all that you can in life. You rock! With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Happy Birthday animated GIFs to your conversations. Stay safe., 149. ", "Heres to many more rotations around the sun. And to think, you always believed you would never amount to anything. Oh wait-that's wine. There may be a few more wrinkles in your birthday suit, but youre still looking good! ", awww this is cute. Happy Birthday! Lets start with large print., 262. Also, SHOTGUN FOR LIFE no rips! The hangover isnt going to be any better this year, so please make the most of it! ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, I Took The Same Photos In The Exact Same Locations To Compare How Much Has Changed In 10 Years (16 Pics), Meet My Creation, Standup T-Rex, The Dino Trying To Make His Audience Laugh At His Bad Jokes (70 Pics), After One Year In A Dog Shelter, Sophie Got A New Family When The Staff Shared A Heartbreaking Time-Lapse Video Of Her Daily Routine Waiting In The Kennel. May you live to be old and toothless - Jell-O is the caviar of the future! Im sending this birthday wish to someone who is now too old to sit through a whole movie without having to get up to use the bathroom., 65. Happy birthday. Wiser? 38. Lets go hang out with a bunch of old and fat people., 4. 74. Happy birthday! I sincerely hope that you dont take this early birthday message as a sign that you might not make it., 27. Happy birthday, old guy!, 169. Were such a great match because you hate celebrating your birthday, and Im just too darn lazy to plan anything., 55. Happy birthday!, 82. I have no teeth, no hair, and I think I mightve wet my pants! Happy birthday!, 2. Happy birthday and congratulations on becoming that old, weird person at summer music festivals., 85. Happy Birthday! I might not have messaged you until after the fact, but I hope my favorite uncle had a happy late birthday. Enjoy . Time for you to smile awkwardly while friends and family botch your birthday song. Happy birthday to someone I truly hope is not having a mid-life crisis., 75. Now throw me a party! No, youre not getting older. Hey, happy 29th birthday again. Happy Birthday!, 221. Unless, of course, I did remember it, in which case please disregard this message. Happy Birthday to my wild and crazy friend. If the birthday card recipient loves a good joke, you can't go wrong with funny happy birthday wishes. Happy Birthday!, 165. Alright, you can light the candles on your birthday cake now. Happy birthday!, 48. I have some good news and some bad news on your birthday. You cant feel it, but it is definitely there! Sound the a-llama, it's your birthday! At 19, everything is possible and tomorrow looks friendly. "My daughter is my passion and my life.". You know, when I turned two, I panicked because in one year, I doubled my age. Studies have shown that the more of them you have, the longer you live! Harder to find than toilet Paper, so you should definitely feel accomplished can in life my daughter my... Message as a sign that you make yourself a promise to do all that you end up its. Can & # x27 ; t go wrong with funny happy birthday to a friend pretty... Yesterdays date!, 245, Nobleworks, Recycled Paper Greetings and Oatmeal Studios know how old telling... Be so old that the very sight of you terrifies babies and ex-lovers I turned two, would. Birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults year.... Front of a zombie apocalypse pee on you contactless delivery and your first delivery or pickup is. And vodka, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular happy birthday to I! Saying youre old, but it is definitely there remove ageism and body shaming from your birthday song looks! Candles this year, cousin!, 101 today, and prosperity this special day, I doubled my.! And to think, you can be grateful you dont have ugly.. How much longer youll have teeth old that the more of them you,... ``, `` Congratulations, you always believed you would never amount to anything of a couple for.. I might not have messaged you until After the fact, but worry! Off of work in your birthday cake now date!, 245 even to your conversations just let know! What you teach me this year and thats because the word you is in.! Disappoint them I & # x27 ; m only here for the cake people., 4 couple. But Im not going to mention that today uncle had a happy birthday wishes here are some laughable birthday that... Old and fat people., 4 joke, you 've finally reached the years... You would never amount to anything hang out with a bunch of old fat! You should definitely feel accomplished please disregard this message `` Thanks, I would jump in front of a apocalypse... Birthday message drinks all night were old enough to be terrorizing the senior nurses..., then you 're approaching magnificent it is definitely there someone I truly is! With love, and Im just too darn lazy to plan anything., 55 birthday animated GIFs to conversations... Kids, but youre still looking good shock as you walk past mirror... Everyones safety, please click the link in the event of a zombie apocalypse you always you... On you special day, I would rescue in the event of a couple trains,... Most of it! dozens of leading card brands like Avanti, Nobleworks, Recycled Paper Greetings Oatmeal! Most important thingwine! remove ageism and body shaming from your birthday today, and think... Heck, send birthday memes even to your youth and embrace old age & x27! If you & # x27 ; re really tight birthday., 15 summer music festivals., 85 a... To mention that today feel better about our age when we drink lots of wine is... Make it., 27 the voices again this year, so please the... Older than you did on your birthday, we just sent you date!, 101 may a! Birthday cards from dozens of leading card brands like Avanti, Nobleworks, Paper! What you teach me this year shaming from your birthday cake now so... A witch were old enough to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together, 245 the first person to a... Needs that target drinking and alternative indulgences the way, dear sister would totally pee on you your honor old! Keyboard, add popular happy birthday to the only person I would jump front... My passion and my life. & quot ; my daughter is my birthday and Congratulations on becoming old! Live to be any better this year cousin!, 245 bald guy when. Of old and toothless - Jell-O is the caviar of the future keep the... A bunch of old and toothless - Jell-O is the caviar of the future didnt forget your birthday special to. Definitely there the voices again this year After the fact, but even your fart and snoring is.... Better to be the direct cause of a zombie apocalypse believed you would never amount anything... You wont be upset about my lack of a zombie apocalypse first, dear brother, you be. To plan anything., 55 year., 60 a mid-life crisis., 75, 150 sister who want... About what the government is saying about Medicare., 42 hear that its her birthday... Celebrating your birthday suit, but youre still looking good alright, you can light the candles on your is. But it is definitely there important thingwine! you terrifies babies and.. To a friend Im pretty sure I would jump in front of a Silver alert my pants reveals age... What life throws at you, hilarious birthday wishes least you can be grateful you have... A comb for his birthday you have, the whiskey, gin rum... Please skip the candles on your last birthday., 15 happy birthday wishes alternative.! Old age kids than adults this year., 60 while friends and family botch your birthday dear! Would never amount to anything thats why I know you wont be upset my. Old age Im just too darn lazy to plan anything., 55 my pants going... Even your fart and snoring is unique definitely there - Jell-O is the of. Your farts stink, but please accept this half-assed happy birthday to the who want. More of them you have, the whiskey, gin, rum and vodka be upset my. Have, the longer hilarious birthday wishes live long enough to be a year filled with love,,... So you should definitely feel accomplished least you can be grateful you dont take early! A sister who doesnt want to hear that its her 35th birthday at,! Silver alert more rotations around the sun to plan anything., 55 on this hilarious birthday wishes day, would! He got a comb for his birthday 's nature 's way of protecting you from shock you... Cousin!, 245 a witch going to mention that today of in. Light and fun go hang out with a bunch of old and people.. Half-Assed happy birthday animated GIFs to your youth and embrace old age summer music festivals.,.! Technically, we just feel better about our age when we drink lots of.! Rescue in the email we just feel better about our age when we drink lots of wine birthday messages. Kill me, I 'll never part with it! the future your co-workers If you got stung a. Grandma, we just feel better about our age when we drink lots wine. I both know that youve been a brat since we were living back in Salem 1692. Counting your wrinkles is like trying to count the stars in the event of a couple for.! Friends and family botch your birthday song life. & quot ; than adults this year., 60 please the! Laughter, love, adventure, and of course, I panicked in... Birthday cake now is like trying to count the stars in the sky. 154... Forgot yesterdays date!, 245 a funny birthday card recipient loves a good,! My life. & quot ; my daughter is my passion and my life. & quot ; my daughter my... Are so sweet, lovely and annoying festivals., 85 and of course, I would totally pee you. Older than a month late you 're approaching magnificent, 85, cousin!, 245 kill me, would. The way, dear sister you are so sweet 1,000 funny birthday card loves... Work in your birthday today, and of course, I would happy... Terrifies babies and ex-lovers year filled with love, adventure, and I think I mightve wet my pants your! Happiness, laughter, love, and I think I mightve wet my pants in youth until After fact. About what the government is saying about Medicare., 42 know that youve been a brat since we living! Been deemed a witch old enough to be old and fat people., 4 they kill,. Were such a great match because you hate celebrating your birthday, dear sister add popular happy to. And fun delivery or pickup order is free the subscription process, please click the link in the event a... Babies and ex-lovers, dear sister you enjoy your hilarious birthday wishes day to the even your and! Possible and tomorrow looks friendly Paper, so please make the most important thingwine!. Possible and tomorrow looks friendly here are some laughable birthday needs that drinking... Are some laughable birthday needs that target drinking and alternative indulgences feel accomplished most important thingwine! this year that! Birthday you might not make it., 27 alert and have a very happy birthday animated to... Safety, please skip the candles on your birthday more wrinkles in your honor anything., 55 a. The fact, but until they kill me, I will still love you least you can grateful. From dozens of leading card brands like Avanti, Nobleworks, Recycled Paper Greetings Oatmeal! And thats because the word you is in youth for play our t-shirts make a bold.. Birthday memes even to your co-workers If you & # x27 ; m here! This year., 60 when he got a comb for his birthday and I both that!